when you press backspace a few times in hopes of deleting text and then tHE BROWSER GOES BACK LIKE 5 PAGES
kkatkkrap: justdrinktea: so in Japanese, we sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. here’s a general gist of the translation: Rudolph had a shiny nose no one liked him he cried every night then one Christmas it was dark Santa decided Rudolph’s nose was convenient (literally it says convenient) Rudolph was useful. I SHIT YOU NOT.
Reblog if you actually like reading.
readfearless: momodiggers: wheresmyhusband-odairheis: dailyponds: this doesnt have enough notes….. Reading Builds Up Your Imagination :) I literally could not scroll past this without reblogging
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
hobbitsandlocks: badwolfonbakerstreet: do-you-have-a-flag: the best thing about disney songs is singing every character’s part in them with your best impression of their voice #I’M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH #saygoodbyetothosewhoknewme #boY was I a FOOL in SCHOOL forr cutting GYMMMMMM #thIS guy’s got ‘em scared to DEATH!#HOPE HEDOESN’T SEE RIGHT THROUGHME #now I really wish that I knew...
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
Great tumblr mysteries
i-dobelieveincommas: The name of the Doctor What happened in Budapest How Sherlock survived Where the fuck the Hannibal fandom came from
faeiouck: shady-bacon: faeiouck: “all slytherins are evil” “all gryffindors are good guys” “ravenclaws are nothing but nerds” “hufflepuffs don’t do anything” Name one evil Gryffindor. One. peTER PETTIGREW YOU LITTLE SHIT DO NOT QUESTION ME
so-tired-of-running: del0ppus: If someone ever tells you a certain song is important to them you should turn it up and lay on your bed and close your eyes and really listen to it even if its 10 minutes long because at the end you will know that person much better I think My love for this post is unbelievable.
Parent: Why don't you come socialize with the family?
Me: *sits with family*
Me: *gets insulted by entire family*
Me: *goes back to bedroom*
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
fluffywhitechicken: filthytricksyhobbitses: guys perfume that smells like books if you wear this I’ll probably fall in love with you
zombikki: veganasfuck: how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. this is the best joke ever
kauvera: supernatural-aka-tearsandgay: wiener-cest: demeaniac: STOP SCROLLING straighten your back, mate NOW GO ON woah thanks i really needed that today tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever...
coolman229: Oh my gosh I just realized David TENnant He played the TENth Doctor. Matt SmELEVENith He plays the ELEVENth Doctor.
timelordy-teganbreann: swim-two-birds: If you’ve never read Shakespeare’s plays, you’re missing out on some quality zingers. are you telling me that shakespeare was doing your mom jokes in his plays
vandalswithjetpacks: The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.